i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
