I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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