I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
