Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
