He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
