i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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