im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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