why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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