I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
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Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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