it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
