he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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