Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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