He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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