You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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