I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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