yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
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I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
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Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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