You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
