its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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