The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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