You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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