i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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