UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize