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East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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