At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
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Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter