My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila