I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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