I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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