we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
