It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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