It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
