His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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