office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
