pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
