You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
