I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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