He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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