just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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