the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
