i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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