I met the friendliest cop last night
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
