Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
