So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
