i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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