How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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