are you so shy because you have an std?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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