The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
