Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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