I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everything about him screamed your future.
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yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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