I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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