things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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