So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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