I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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