dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
