I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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