he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
