He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
