margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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