i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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