There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
