what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize