New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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