I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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