why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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