my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
