my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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